So she dumped you. Stop being a pansy and MAN-UP! Now, I recognize you haven’t done that yet which is why you’re reading this article so I’ve got three great ways to get even with your ex for breaking your heart.
#1 Mail her Glitter
Chances are she likes glitter anyway so you’re actually doing something really sweet! It’s just that the glitter will be wrapped in paper left to wander about where it will. She’ll be cleaning it out of her apartment for weeks! Hehehehehehe.
#2 Print out her picture and…
make a dart board out of it. Blast Hall and Oates: “She’s Gone” on full volume for best effect. Tears may be a side effect for less manly men. Ignore them and keep flinging darts. Acknowledge feelings? Pffft that’s for wusses.
#3 Become Super Ripped
Remember all the times she gave those subtle jabs about your gut? You pretended not to care, but you were silently crying inside? Well, get the ultimate revenge and get super jacked so you can strut your stuff on the beach. Then you can imagine how she’ll be all lusting after you when you post you’re jacked abs on Instagram and Facebook, then she’ll DM you and she’ll be all like “I’m so sorry, I was wrong blah, blah, blah” …THEN you can be like “I’m sorry I’ve moved on” HA!
All of the above is the advice you should take, but there are some of you who will probably think this is a ridiculous list – taken from a man with the emotional age of a 5 year old. Well, to you sir I say “that’s what you are, but what am I?” However, because I’m a nice guy, I’ve prepared a list for the less manly among you so that you can have something too. Besides, I have to look out for all my peeps.
Alternate Top 3
#1 Fun activities
Don’t hang in the house all day. Hang out with your boys, or even some lady friends. It will help you to talk through some of the emotional baggage you may be hanging on to. If you’re not manly enough to stuff your emotions away the right way, then you may as well express them to people who pretend to care.
#2 Self Reflection
This one is dangerous so proceed with caution. Thinking through your past actions may have harmful results like remorse, and may in some serious cases cause you to empathize with others. Yes, even your ex. You may even want to, dare I say it…apologize for past jerk-like behavior. Again, this is the route for suckers who can’t be a man and stay the course.
#3 Respect Her Choice
Now if you had been doing this in the first place, you probably wouldn’t be here reading this article now. That said, you’ve got to recognize that the choice to move on without you is hers and hers alone. You’ve got to accept this like a man. It’ll sting for a little bit, but if it makes you feel better, just remember – she’s making a terrible mistake. You’re right and she’s wrong and you’re the best man she’ll ever have even if she disagrees. Now doesn’t that feel better?
