Category Archives: General Manliness

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Strange and Awkward Workplace Scenarios

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Can we say "Sanitize"

While at work, I have been encountering some strange situations, so I thought it best to write them out for the readers. That way, if you too encounter the same thing, you can take advantage of this knowledge. As manly men, we have to look out for one-another right?

So first scenario…you have just finished contemplating the meaning of life on the toilet, and have now moved to wash hands. As a cleanly man, you obviously wash your hands thoroughly if not for yourself, at least for the sake of others with whom you may come into contact. Your boss enters stage left. He uses the bathrooom. You chit-chat about the report he’s been asking you for, but you put off so that you could finish that maddening game of sudoku you have cleverly hidden on your desktop. He leaves. You note that he is nasty and has not washed his hands. You leave. You forget what just happened until later on that day you run into each other again and he wants to congratulate you on the fine job you did with the spreadsheet you finally sent him. He leans in for the hand shake. What to do!!!! This is where many people fail. Here are a few tips to help you out.

1)Give the old Obama fist bump.

2)Drop your pen. When you get up from picking it up…pat him on the shoulder before he gets a chance to extend the hand again.

3)This is a cowardly maneuver, but is the easiest and most obvious. Take the hit…shake his and and keep hand sterilizer close by.  You can sterilize in his presence for added insult.

Japanese Day Parade in NYC

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Ok guys….got some interesting pics to show you. It was generally a great scene except for the rice torture. You’ll see what I mean when you see the turture devices. It’s just cruel…and tasty. Also saw a naked Karate Master. Something straight from a Manga only in real life. Only the Manliest of Men can pull that off…no pun intended.

JK Wedding ends in Divorce!!!

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Saw the original JK Wedding Video. It was awesome, just because they seemed so authentic. It was literally a movie moment that you wished was real, that actually was! I’m big enough of a man to say I watched it, and enjoyed it too. But who would have ever thought it would end up like this? Check out the divorce proceedings below:

embedded by Embedded Video

YouTube Direkt

#7 Learn Something about the Outdoors

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Now I for one, being a city-kid at heart, am not one for the outdoors myself. However, that shouldn’t stop the rest of you kiddies from trying to get some fresh air, and seeing a bunch of luminescent sky creatures clumped together called “stars”. Most people who venture out into that wilderness and “camp” in the outdoors usually worry about such things as sleeping bags, and tents, and other basic necessity crap like that. HA! All a real man needs is a loin cloth and a trusty knife! Look at this beauty below:

It comes with compass, fishing line, matches and other goodies. The handle also has a grappling hook in cases you need to…climb a tree while hunting your human prey. Saw tooth back adds to the intimidation factor as well as provides a way to cut wood.

Awwwwe Yeah...

#6 The Decisive Man

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Staying the course…That’s the Manly-Man’s way.  It’s #6 on the list of Manly Characteristics is being decisive. Too many men these days are wishy-washy, like a confused puppy. Can’t make up their minds. “Too many options” they say. “Should I get the blue sandals that match with this new t-shirt?” Disgusting. I believe its these new fangled gizmos coming out every other day that are confusing our young men. Every time you look around there is something new coming out. Prime example. First the iPod, iPhone, iPhone3G, etc…. Now, I’m not haitin’ cause I want one too! I love my technology as much as the next guy, but seriously, I have 3 portable devices that do approximately the same thing. It’s starting to get confusing man!

This new generation is what I’ll call the A.D.D. generation. You know its true. If your 40 and below, you want your stuff, and you want it now. What’s this “patience is a virtue” business? That’s why recommend being manlyly decisive. (see I decided to make up a word) Your first choice is as good as the next. Just choose and be done with it. Marriage? The first one to say yes must be the one. Job, do they pay the same currency as the country you live in? Yes? Great to be on the team. What to eat…is it mildly digestible by most of the human population? Sold! See, how easy is that? Plus, an added bonus is how much people will respect you for your manly behavior. Some, who know nothing about manly things, may call it ignorance, or hard-headedness. Bah! Since they don’t know much you don’t have to listen to them. Pesky excuses for not being decisive like “reason” or “different perspective” have no place in your vocab. Shun them.

So in conclusion, the sure fire way to being a Manly Man is to swing the heavy axe of Judgment swiftly and without looking. That’s being a man…A Manly-Man.

To Do, or not to Doo Doo

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The Throne...where every man is king for a while

At long last, the awaited excuse to get up from your desk as arrived. The call of nature has rung through loud and clear, and the coffee, soda, juice, or water that was had for breakfast, has done its work. It’s urinatin’ time.

As you make your way to the rest room, you try not to make eye contact with that one cute girl so she doesnt think your staring at her boossom and think your some kind of a stalker perv. You evade the the guy with the weird haircut that talks incessantly about the same thing over and over again with a well played pivot move you picked up from streetball the other day. Nice move. Finally you make it to the stalls. The muscles relax, and you relieve yourself – or so you think.

It’s instinct to finish up by washing your hands (unlike your boss who always wants to shake your hand knowing good and well he hasn’t washed his hands for the past few days) and keeping it moving but the dreaded happens. As soon as you leave the bathroom, you feel your bowels doing their good work, and this mornings bagel is making its move as well. This is the question we all want answered. After you have already urinated and left, should you go back in for #2?

The risks: 1. The cute girl you were trying not to stare at notices you making another move for the bathroom again and immediately thinks you have explosive diarrhea, and this is just round two. She will think you have to booboo every time you get up and will give you with that look of disgust you were trying to avoid all along.

2. If you don’t go, you will be uncomfortable for the next 15 minutes, and have to go anyway, but this time you will need to have an excuse like, I left my pen etc… But if you wait, what if it really is explosive diarrhea? You try to let some gas out and its a wrap.

Our call is to make the move boldly. No flip-flopping. Go back in man and handle your business. In our collective experiences here at the manly man, certain female confidants have reported that the female bathroom is much worse than you think! Yeah, they have fancy stuff in there, but they have cloggings just like we do! Plus, you’ll be relieved when you get back to your desk, and you’ll be able to actually work instead of stall for a few minutes before you get back up.

So, with no apologies, no excuses be a Manly Man and take care of business when it arises.

#4 Choosing a Race thats Comfortable for You!

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#4 on our list of manly characteristics is choose a race and stick to it! Some folks kinda slip in and out of races they can “pass” for depending on the situation. A real man will either choose one side, or make something up that he is comfortable with. Here is what I mean. People have labels for one another. “White”, or “black”, or “Asian” etc. But what if I don’t want to be labeled by someone else… to fit in someone else’s definition of race. Do I have to be simply black or white or Asian, or Hispanic etc…? What if I want to include the other races that helped to create me? Or, what if I don’t. Isn’t that my choice? Maybe, maybe not…but the writer of this article will henceforth no longer be considered simply black, but Jamerican-Tan-Brown McChocolaty (the last part is for the ladies). Those who wish to liberate themselves from the bondage of Labelism…what will you be called from this day forward???

#3 A Look at Cleanliness: The Evils of Halitosis

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Lick the wrapper for longer lasting results

#3 Fresh Breath a must. As a man, many women have preconceived notions about us. One of which is the high probability that a man will have bad breath. Now the fact that they presume such is not the tragedy, but the overwhelming odds that this assumption will be true if closely inspected. This simply cannot stand! So, if you are a male, and are reading this then we want you to do two things:  First stop reading. Second, take stock of you your halitosis levels.

If there is any doubt, erase it with a stick of gum. If the case is severe, then two or three sticks have never been proven to be harmful to humans…neither has licking the wrapper for extra fresh flavor.

Of course, this is only a temporary solution, but drastic times call for drastic measures. If you find consistent halitosis, you may want to clean up your eating habits and get an enema. If your breath is smelling like booboo all the time what else can it be?